Thursday, September 8, 2011

This is how K sees it- PART II

Black day for New Delhi. I could not go through the newspaper. Tears and blood everywhere. Felt disgusted. Prayers and condolences for all who lost their loved ones.


On a lighter note, at the risk of pulling a 'Sharon Stone' *Fortunately I'm not the face of L'Oreal in China, so no one will be puling down my ad campaign* all I'm saying is, is it Karma or something? Don't judge me. Look at all the evil in this city *Most of it around central Delhi. Maybe God just sent a warning* I happened to be raised in a very 'religious' family. One must always fear God - this was drilled in our pretty little heads since we were babies. You know what they say, fear is the basis of any religion.
You do this, Your are damned. You don't do this, you are damned. Damn!


So, my father has been asking me to go and get a few papers sorted from the court, which has not been sorted but I've just been very busy or maybe a little lazy. Guess I have a reason not to go to the court for a while. I get a call from them yesterday to inquire if I was alright. Some people might not find it funny but this is what I told him: " I know why you wanted me to go to the court. You saw it coming didn't you?" To my surprise he didn't find it hilarious. I guess his sense of humour is on vacation. My mother certainly did get the joke.


Anyway, I went out for a few drinks in the evening. There it was, yet another sign from God. For a second there, I though they'll find me under all the rubble with a drink in my hand. Not a nice way to go. My hair would have been just all out of place. I refuse to die without my hair being in place. Period.


Hope this post puts a smile on people's faces.




..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.ஐ TO WORLD PEACE ..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸.ஐ



Sheila Dixit and Rahul Gandhi visit kin of blast victim and promises action.
For a while they thought it was a firework show to welcome Sonia Gandhi back home.

43% Americans believe US foreign policy led to 9/11
Seriously? They had to conduct a survey to find that out.
I want to know what do other 57% believe. Question. How did he get a second term?


Maya sent jet to get sandals from Mumbai and has a food taster
She is my hero.Considering joining politics. Is there a school I can go to? I want a private jet fetching me a pair of shoes and I shall refuse to believe in the concept of 'courier services' and let someone else foot the bill. Just perfect. Food taster? Tres tres chic. Is she looking for a stylist because I think those kurtas need a few darts and the hairdo and the colour must go. I say go platinum. 




Delhi legislators get big salary hike
I say that instead of doubling it, make it ten times. They all deserve it. Look at the wonderful things they have done for this city. Its beautifully landscaped with weeds growing all over. They got us a world class stadium which is being used as a warehouse and who can miss the tasteful streetscaping that includes the lovely mosaics on the Safdarjung flyover. Moreover, not even once any of us faced water logging this monsoon. I see rocket scientists working every morning on the Defence Colony flyover to prevent water logging.



Miffed Mamta didi ignores PMs calls
Mr.PM, Maybe she's just not that into you.




G Janardan Reddy aka Greedy's Asset Inventory
Phew!!!!! This is so not fair. All I covet is a Cartier Love bracelet. Did any of you read about his assets? OMG! There was so much to read that I almost fell asleep. I want that gold chair, gold dinner set, those rubies and sapphires and a helicopter called 'Rukmini'. I need friends in politics or even better, a career in politics. We need well turned up politicians. Look at Hina Rabbani Khar. You look like that and half the battle is done. Why wouldn't people listen to someone like. Pretend to be the damsel in distress, just like her country, and Big Daddy will have a hand to lend. Literally. Hahaha.


Omar Abdullah tweets
If the Tihar inmates form a party, what will the symbol be?
I say go for a Thousand rupee bill or a gold throne. Kanimozhi may suggest that that they use 'Muruku', since her days of caviar are over and Mummy is only allowed to get her that as presents.



Amar Singh: Plea of renal problem fails to impress court

Hmmmmmmm.... He has never watched OZ. Has he?
His renal might have to go through a few other problems in jail cell with some inmates. But I must say, hats off to Mr. Bachan. Perfect time to disassociate himself from Mr.Singh.


 Picture courtesey: Google, freakingnews.com

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Brand new month, brand new magazine!!!

SEPTEMBER!

In the Northern hemisphere, the beginning of the meteorological autumn is 1 September. In the Southern hemisphere, the beginning of the meteorological spring is 1 September. We don't care much about southern spring because that is rather irrelevant to this post.

September also brings joy and misery together for fashionistas *Have always hated that term. If any of you have any recommendations for a synonym, please feel free to lemme know. But remember that I have the last word on this blog. Maybe don't even try. Just kidding*, unless grand dad left you a trust fund or daddy take cares of your credit card bills.

Joy? Let me explain. September issues are without doubt the most important published piece of the year. It marks the advent of autumn trends and preps people like us for what to look forward to in the coming season. *When I say people, I mean someone who bothers to care a little, just a little, about what hangs in their wardrobe. Not preaching or will ever preach anyone to be obsessive (Know many a people like that) about clothes; not that its a bad thing. Sometimes so wish I was like that. Sigh. I guess dear Lord hath other plans.* Trust me, it would be blasphemous to wear nautical stripes when everyone would be tarting up in animal prints. In other words, September issue is like Moses, leading the exodus of the hungry fashion conscious out of summer and across the Red sea of 'Last season's trends'. *Would this analogy get me into trouble?* Another good thing about September is that since its the fattest issue of the entire year *Thanks to 200 plus pages of adverts*, flipping through it is the best form of exercise your arms could ever ask for. Must say that fashion works in mysterious ways.

Lets get on with the misery and I'm going to make it very concise. So many things to buy and no means to buy. Sometimes I wonder if these magazines are not meant for people with limited means because you can't have all that you covet. It's more like a tease. Have you ever flipped through 'Get the same look for less?' In this case, less is certainly more. Literally. Most of us still cannot afford this watered down 'look'. But religiously, every month we go and get a copy of our favourite magazine or more. This is what I call masochism at its best. Exactly the same reason I don't step into shops with snooty sales boys and girls. What's the need? Tom Ford's window display beckons every time I pass by but I have not mustered courage to step in. Sigh!!!! I shall some day, Tom. I shall and I will get a suit from you. And I digress yet again. Hence not so concise anymore. Getting back to business of fashion, I wonder how many women look at these magazines and feel good about themselves. Send me a comment if you do. I don't. I look at men's magazines and at the end of it, I'm this close to slashing my wrists. God has been kind to us but he is just unfair. But c'est la vie.

But one has got to do what they got to do. Can't do with the magazines and can't do without them. Certainly cannot.
Below are some September issue covers from across the world *after a very strict elimination process*. Some of them are not so impressive but I still put them because I like the covers models. Enjoy.


To many more issues and heartaches!!!


Kate Moss for Vogue US

Mariacarla for Love

Daphne Groeneveld for Love
                                               
Patricia van der Vliet for Vogue Portugal

Jessica Miller for L'Officiel Paris


Coco Rocha for Dazed & Confused Korea
Anne Hathaway for Interview


Kirsten Dunst for Elle UK

Carmen Kass for Elle Spain


Beyonce for Harper's Bazaar UK


Juno temple for Dazed & Confused


Jacquelyn Jablonski for Elle Spain
Adele for Elle Canada



Charlotte Casiragh for Vogue Paris


Claudia Schiffer, Helena Christensen & Eva Herzigova for Vogue Spain


Freja Beha Erichsen for Vogue UK


Katie Fogarty for Vogue Australia


Du Juan, Sui He, Fei Fei Sun, Liu Wen, Ming Xi and Shu Pei Qin for Vogue China


Aizona Muse for Vogue Korea


Naomi Campbell for V Spain
Kristen Stewart for W
Iris Strubegger for Vogue Germany
Penelope Cruz for V Magazine

Monday, August 29, 2011

J'adore Couture! (and Juicy couture not so much)

Who does not love couture? If God is in the details, it's in couture. Many a people find fashion frivolous *some of them may be reading this post and I agree that we all have our opinions and we respect yours* and designers as nothing but glorified tailors. They will never know the level of skill involved to create these works of art. I never believed in preaching to such kind. Either you get it or you don't. If you want to step out looking like __________ *Fill in the blank*, its your choice and good for you. And please don't ask me that question ever, 'How does it matter?' Well, for starters it hurts my eyes more to look at them, compared to when I'm writhing in agony from a migraine.

I don't step out of the house every morning dressed as if I'm from a page in a fashion magazine either *As much I wish I was*. I use public transport and there is only that much of glances I can deal with and trust me I never dress that atrociously or loud. As a matter of fact I'm not a loud dresser. It's just that I like to get my basics right. There are a few cardinal rules that shall never been tampered with. for example, sneakers and sweat pants are for the gym and gym only. Yes! Even if its Juicy couture*Juicy couture is neither juicy nor couture. The velor track pants just get to me. Come winter and every supposedly bored wealthy housewife would be drawn to it.* Another trend we need to impose a ban on is 'floaters' with white socks. If you ask me, I would rather impose a ban on 'floaters'. Period. 'jhola' couture is what I call it. Best goes with an ill-fitting kurta and faded denims for a soiree to Hauz Khas village. Phew!!!!! I just cannot go to Hauz Khas Village. It is just way too 'cool' for me with its budding artists and the likes of them. Honestly speaking, I don't feel smart enough in their proximity. I don't read much, I barely know any politics and I don't work for an NGO and I do not carry 'jholas' any more! So yeah, fair enough!!!!

Moving back to couture, in 2009, Lacroix shutting shop was an immeasurable loss to couture. I've always loved Lacroix. I have the most beautiful invitation to a Lacroix show *Before you raise an eyebrow, the invitation was not meant for me. I loved it so much that I had to beg my friend who was invited to the how to give it to me* stuck to my soft board at work.

I could not believe that company could not even break even let alone turn a profit. Pity that I would never be able to own a Lacroix unless someday I could lay my hands on a vintage *The day I have f**k loads of money*. Till then I'm happy just looking at the pictures.

Long live Couture and Dear God, would be nice if you can work on me getting some!!!!!

Lacroix

Lacroix

Lacroix


Armani

Valentino

Valentino

Valentino

Jean Paul Gaultier

Givenchy

Elie Saab



Givenchy

Jean Paul Gaultier

Jean Paul Gaultier

Photo Courtesy: style.com,nytimes.com & google images

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

This is how K sees it!!!

 Ahmed Bukhari
Asserting that Islam is against slogans like 'Vande Matram' and 'Bharat Mata ki Jai', Bukhari said: "You cannot praise a nation in Islam. If a few Muslims are participating in Hazare demonstration this does not represent the 25 crore Muslims in this country."

Seriously?????? I mean for once can we take religion out it.
I have mixed views on Anna's campaign but what I admire about him is that he is fighting for a cause. People might have dubbed him as 'misinformed' or a 'hero', but I guess the man has principles.
What has Mr.Bukhari done?
Would he dub whatever happened in Egypt, Syria or Lebonon un-Islamic as well? Apparently, according him communalism should be a priority because it is a bigger threat to the nation and not corruption. Hmmmmmmmm!!!!
Please please do not issue a fatwa against me.

Karl Lagerfeld 
Hates ugly children. 

Karl, my mother feels the same way.
Made  us wash our faces 20 times a day and it still was not clean enough.


Aishwarya Rai Bachan
Refused money to display baby bump for an international magazine.

Hahahahahahaha. You have a conscience?
Between four of you, the only thing that is yet to be endorsed is maybe a kitchen sink and I have no doubts that it shall follow soon.
Why don't we ask Mr.AB instead? Surely he will grow a bump for that amount of money or any amount of money.

Would I have to pay her for using her picture?

Arundhati Roy
Anna hazare is non-secular.

Yes. You wanted your five minutes of fame yet again and you got it.
She has started to become as annoying as Shobha De *Not the writer but the cocktail sari designer*


Jagan Reddy
Resigns along with some other 'politicians'.

There are bigger problems that need to be addressed. Shame on you and on likes of you.

*Picture too ugly to be displayed*

Airtel
'Chai ke liye jaise toast hota hai'.
Darlings, I'm rather sure that the Mittals have caviar and champagne for breakfast. Toasts are for the likes of us and ours is not even buttered.